Drive-In Forgery

News Item: A blogger who posted a preview of what he thought was a David Bowie book project has held his hands up after realising it was fake.

This is Hermione Gingold, my girlfriend in the late 60’s. Some saw our age difference as problematic, but we did not. In fact, my most treasured memory of her is the day when, after listening to me lament my eventual mortality, she took me aside and whispered “Nothing’s gonna touch you in these Gingold years,” which immediately set me off in search of a pencil. We eventually broke up when she refused to wear the spacesuit I had made specially for her at Harrod’s.

Always artistically restless, I had originally planned to follow up Station To Station with a concept album about the many and varied uses of sticky tape, aiming to use it as a metaphor for the tape that sort of, like, binds or, like, keeps us joined together or something. In the end the idea was jettisoned when Eno showed up with a new haircut and a guitar he’d made out of candy wrappers and string. All that remains is this one test shot of what would have been my next protagonist/character, The Thin White Guy Wrapped Up In, Like, Police Tape Or Something.

This is a bit of trivia that will shock even the most knowledgeable of my fans, I think. It’s a secret I’ve sat on since its release. The truth of the matter is that my creativity was at such low tide at this point that I charged someone else with recording this album, Never Let Me Down, for me! That’s right. The vocalist (who shall remain nameless) used the occasion to do such a hilarious, over-the-top impression of me that it still makes me laugh to this day! To review: I neither wrote nor sang any of the material on this godforsaken piece of crap. Understood?

Victoria Station, 1976. No excuse, really, but I was drinking a lot of coffee, if that helps.

Blimey, not a good year all round, really. Don’t remember much about this, to be honest, other than to say that I never really took a bad photo.

I love this one. A photo of Gary Numan that I took surreptitiously with my iPhone. He’s really let himself go, hasn't he?

I’m still not sure what this does, really.