Draw Your Own Conclusions

A homeless pig has been found near the airport in Philadelphia. Rescuers dubbed him "Runway" after finding the 150-lb porker hanging out with stray cats.

Other washed-up 80's groups the pig likes to hang with include Men At Work and Haysi Fantayzee.


Therefore, the Society Against Legal Injustice asks you, as a fan, friend or admirer of OJ Simpson to make a modest contribution to the Society's Trust Fund...No contribution is too small.

Any contribution, however, is too large.


A couple in Malibu is complaining that their neighbor, rock poet Bob Dylan, has permanently parked a stinky portable potty next to the property line they share with him.

Visitors to the Dylan home in search of relief have taken to referring to it as 'Knocking On Heaven's Door.'


The Parents Television Council cautioned parents and radio stations across the country about a new Britney Spears song, "If U Seek Amy" that spells out the “f-word.” The song makes repeated use of the following line: “All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy.”

Thank goodness no one's played the b-side for them, "Have U Seen Mike Hunt?"