It's Hard Out Here For A Chimp

I seen some crazy things in this town they call D.C.
Like reporters in the press room that didn’t vote for me
Got a couple hoes, though, busy watchin’ my back
Like McClellan and Russert when this chimpboy gets attacked
It’s f’d up, baby, when you are the great pretender
Lookin’ at Katrina through my airplane window
I’d rather be workin’ on another hardass caper
Like treatin’ the Constitution as if it was toilet paper
They thought they voted Michael in, ‘stead I gave ‘em Tito
Dreamin’ sweet dreams ‘bout Jesus and Alito
I’d try an’ tell you more but it’s hard fo’ a chimp
Who killed 2,000 soldiers ‘cause they called his Dad a wimp

You know it’s hard out here for a chimp
When he’s tryin’ to sound like he’s coherent
Got a whole lotta lib’rals talkin’ shit
‘Bout Abramoff and the money that he spent

Man, it seems like I’m ducking Cheney’s bullets every day
Crazy ass Veep should be shootin’ Tom DeLay
But I gotta stay patriotic, do what I can
Reclaming the U.S. for Christ ain’t no picnic, man
Outlawing abortion, treatin’ women second-class
Don’t you call me Rove’s bitch or I’ll have to kick your ass
Congress knows better than to ask to see a file
‘Cause they know I’ll waterboard ‘em, Gitmo style!
I got Katie Harris, yeah, and I got Condi, too
I call them my mushroom clouds, they call me KABOOM!
That’s how it goes in the political arena
I’m busy just stayin’ one step ahead of the subpoena

You know it’s hard out here for a chimp
When he’s tryin’ to sound like he’s coherent
Got a whole lotta lib’rals talkin’ shit
‘Bout the WMD’s and where the heck they went